I thought I would start my blog page with a personal quandary. I have a CD collection of about 800 discs. They are stored neatly in six large binders alphabetized by title and genre. These CDs are nothing new, but a collection from many years ago amassed by my former partner Harris and myself. When we broke up I let him have the collection and when he passed away back in 2013 I inherited them. They have since been resting on a metro shelving unit in my garage collecting dust. I would love to get rid of them, but I just can’t seem to let go.
Why is that? There’s a logical viewpoint and an emotional viewpoint. From a logical viewpoint, I know that the chances of ever needing them are slim to none. I have never referred to them in all the years I had them and have already digitized everything I wanted. Also, I know that I can’t do much with them as I do not have any of the packaging. Over the years, I have tried donating them as well as giving them away but there were no takers. Essentially, they are just taking up space. Seems like a no brainer, huh?
Enter the emotional viewpoint. Harris really loved CDs and was so proud of the collection. Realistically, I understand that this was more his collection than mine, but we did collect them together and I feel guilty about discarding them. The CDs themselves don’t mean anything to me personally, but the thought of getting rid of them has caused me much angst over the years. Every time I look at them on the shelf I am reminded of Harris – not in a happy way, but in a sad way. This is perhaps the most relevant factor. Why do I continue to hold onto something that doesn’t bring me joy or make me happy?
Every year or so I think about getting rid of them but just can’t get myself to do it. I think to myself, what if my computer dies and all of my music is lost? Answer: I backed it all up on an external drive so that isn’t an issue. We paid so much money for them it would be a shame to throw them away. Answer: they are not worth anything sitting in your garage and you have exhausted your options. Harris would be so mad at me if I got rid of them. Answer: Harris no longer cares about the collection! (Had to get a little humor in there!)
I work with clients all the time and sit with them while they angst over getting rid of things so I totally empathize with their quandaries. I try to practice what I preach, but am humbled with this dilemma as it makes me even more empathetic towards anyone facing the same type of situation.
In writing this blog, I think that I am finally ready to say goodbye to them. I am realizing that by getting rid of the CDs I am not getting rid of any memories or more importantly forgetting Harris. Harris will always be in my heart and I don’t need the physical CDs to honor his memory.
Now if I could just make it over to the garbage bin…
I will keep you posted!
